H.O.E. Season (Happiness Over Everything)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Call your Cousins podcast, a podcast dedicated to exploring deep and complex topics that shape our world and human experiences. Before we dive into today's episode, we want to acknowledge the sensitive nature of some of the content we discuss. Please be advised that this podcast may include themes and discussions that could be triggering or uncomfortable for some listeners, including, but not limited to, discussions on mental health, violence, abuse, and other potentially distressing topics. Listener discretion is advised. Remember, this podcast is for informational and educational, but most importantly, entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as professional advice. The views expressed by hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the call your cousins podcast. Enjoy the show. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Whatever time you're joining us, the cousins. Thank you for doing so. Welcome back to the call your cousins podcast, a now tangible group chat of cousins that wanted to share our thoughts, humor, and growth with the world. And everyone's invited most of y'all. [00:01:32] Speaker B: And that's exactly why I'm not there. [00:01:36] Speaker C: Girl, like you set the boundaries, don't set boundaries and then want to be. Oh, what I want to see across the fence. No, girl, stay in your fence. You're building a beautiful, beautiful. [00:01:46] Speaker B: You still see all the fences. Now just don't be involved. I can watch the foolishness from afar. [00:01:56] Speaker C: Welcome back to the call your cousins podcast. I'm joined today. This is p money on the mic. I got miss Joy, also known as twin. And of course, we always love to have the lovely research team join us. [00:02:18] Speaker D: What's good? How y'all doing? [00:02:21] Speaker C: And, yeah, welcome back. We have been doing what we do best, and that's adulting, that's on healing, that is that self care. That's being on these people jobs, that's managing life. And we are so happy to have you guys join us today. So let's just get into it. Good morning, famous. You know, it's so nice to be back on with y'all in the morning on a. On the Lord. On the Lord's day. Well, the Lord's day is every day but the Lord's day. Um, and it's just. It's so good to be at the end of summer, man. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Is it? [00:03:02] Speaker C: I love the end of summer. I really do. [00:03:06] Speaker B: It's usually I would say no, but this is gonna be kind of left field. My daddy keep passing out cuz he don't want to drink water, and he sit on the porch all day. And I am grateful that the summer is over, so now he ain't gonna pass out no more. I'm tired of going to the hospital. Okay. In rant. [00:03:30] Speaker D: I'm not here for the cold that's about to approach, because y'all know I love tropical vibes, so it's the weather right now. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Whatever it is right now, if it could just stay like this, because it's, like, still warm, but it's a little breezy outside. If it could just stay this forever, I'd be cool. [00:03:51] Speaker D: It is nice right now. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Nice. [00:03:54] Speaker C: Perfect. I like in the summer because, especially when it's in Virgo season, that's my daddy's season, so I love Virgo season. Although. Although the Virgos don't love me, but I love. I've had very interesting relationships with Virgos, but I love Virgo season, which is, you know, I was listening to something other that was talking about the daddy complex or that being a thing, and, oh, that was Tyrese. Tyrese, you know, has been on a couple shows lately. You know, my man's listen, I'm here for the mental health awareness. My man's know he's not okay. You know, he knows he's getting it scene. It sounds as if he's getting help, and I appreciate it. And he was saying, you know, we sometimes attract in black culture what we know. And it's interesting that, you know, I wasn't raised with my father in the household, but that I have so much love for him as a Virgo. And I love Virgo season, but I just have had very interesting relationships with Virgos. So, yeah, in the summer, it's awesome. I like that. We get one more time, one last hurrah. We got labor day coming up, which is awesome. That's always that last final. We got to go back to work, to the holidays, so super cool. [00:05:35] Speaker D: Yeah. Last time the pool gonna be open, so. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Right? [00:05:39] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:05:46] Speaker B: Was transitionary for me, and I think it was good. I feel like I'm in my whole season. Leave that end up. And I had a successful whole full summer. It was successful. [00:06:05] Speaker D: Wait, what? [00:06:08] Speaker B: I had a whole full summer, whole season. [00:06:13] Speaker D: Happiness over everything. [00:06:15] Speaker B: Happiness. [00:06:16] Speaker C: Happiness over everything. [00:06:18] Speaker B: Yes. Including letting randoms in my vagina. I'm just kidding. Put take that out, though. It's a whole summer. All my friends getting married and having kids and stuff, and I feel like this is my whole face. Okay. My friend got married shout out to the Perry's a couple weeks ago, and my one and only objective was to have a one night stand with one of the groomsmen. And it was successful. Guys, guys, guys, you listening. That man had the biggest penis I ever seen in my life, y'all. [00:07:02] Speaker D: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. [00:07:04] Speaker C: I'm so proud of you. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. The man was six eight. So, you know, that's why I had. I had to try it out. The biggest I ever seen in my life. Okay, that's a once a year thing. It can't even be. It had to be a one night stand. It was too much. [00:07:21] Speaker C: I'm telling you. It's. I done told you. They are not created equal, but thank you, Lord. [00:07:28] Speaker D: Um, okay. [00:07:31] Speaker C: But that, you know, that takes us right into that mental. I think sexual good. Sexual activity is very good for your mental health. Right? Like, knowing what the expectation is, knowing what the activity may be. And you never know. You might go to a wedding and your one night stand might be to end up being the love of your life. You don't know. And so I think that that's a cool experience, and I'm very proud of you for giving yourself the space and the freedom to do so. [00:08:06] Speaker B: No love. No loves of my life. It's whole. [00:08:09] Speaker D: Oh, that's a. [00:08:10] Speaker B: That's a nice whole season. [00:08:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:15] Speaker D: Not looking for that type of commitment just yet. I see. [00:08:19] Speaker B: Maybe never. Who knows? But during this point in time in my life, it's giving hope. Okay. And then, y'all, let me tell you, the man was so shook. That's how I know I didn't grow. That man penis was out of me. I was out the door. The nigga started laughing, talking about like that. Sir, I gotta go home. Thank you. Be blessed. Have a nice flight home. And I was in my bed in 20 minutes. [00:08:53] Speaker D: Not be blessed. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you for your penis. [00:08:58] Speaker C: Listen, for your services. That growth, I'm telling you, that growth not. [00:09:04] Speaker D: He was shook. [00:09:05] Speaker C: Yeah, they be shook. [00:09:06] Speaker B: They shook. [00:09:07] Speaker C: They be shook. [00:09:08] Speaker B: Girl, immediately put my clothes on. [00:09:10] Speaker C: All right. [00:09:10] Speaker B: It's been real. My nigga. Holler at you. [00:09:14] Speaker C: And it's funny because we literally had. That's why, again, it's important to check on your friends and your family, because we had been talking about it earlier that day, and she was kind of like, oh, I don't know. And I was like, girl, a wedding is the perfect opportunity to just be free. Love is in the air. Everybody's feeling love. Everybody want to be in love and just go and just have fun. Like, don't restrict yourself to what your body needs, okay? The body needs good sexual activity for you people out here with these. In these relationships, getting. Doing all the tricks up in the books to get the man, and then you get the man and you don't want to give him, you know, no pleasure and you don't want to give him the be reciprocal with the activities you did wrong. Good sexual. The good sexual activity. [00:10:17] Speaker B: Shout out to all the hoes, not y'all in relationships. What a ho. I'm looking for ho season. Okay. [00:10:30] Speaker C: But I don't think I. So wait to clarify now. I think that when we say these committed relationships, we're talking about those that are married. Okay. I am not married. And I think that the hoe season is always happiness over everything for a reason. Right. It's exploring, you know, the freedoms of doing whatever you want to do. So I love that for you. I truly do. I think that's a beautiful way to give some self care and size. Good. A good size always. [00:11:11] Speaker B: Okay. My mental health has been amazing. Okay. [00:11:19] Speaker C: So that's a good check in. Thanks, twin. What you got? Research, too. [00:11:25] Speaker D: Um, I don't have that. Uh, I will say I'm in more of a, like, August has been, like, rough for me as far as, like, work from a professional sense. It's just been a lot being thrown at me. So I'm excited for September and, like, the countdown of, like, august being over because a lot of, like, work weight will be lifted. So that'll put me in a more balanced state of mind because it's just been, like, been a little crazy. So I'm excited to. To get to September and really, like, declutter some. Some personal thoughts, but also being able to, like, get over the work hump and be like, oh, that's behind me now. Moving onward, upward and forward. [00:12:17] Speaker B: So. [00:12:23] Speaker C: I love that for you. [00:12:24] Speaker B: And I don't know who need to hear this, but fuck that job. Whoever out there need to hear that, but that job for their white lady, but their boss that don't know what you do and don't know what they. [00:12:36] Speaker C: Do and ain't doing nothing. [00:12:37] Speaker B: Fuck all that. [00:12:38] Speaker C: Mmm. [00:12:43] Speaker D: All that. All that. All that. All that. [00:12:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I, uh. Yeah, yeah. I think, um, as I've said on the pod before, it's always, um, you know, don't let something take your energy. Right. And I think that leads to a lot of struggles with mental health. And I would say for myself, just in the journey, when I take the time to, y'all know, I'm into the woo woo. And just the fact that it's been a full moon in Aquarius and Aquarius is my maintain sign placement. Yeah, yeah. And I also had my cycle on the actual day of the moon. So I've been in a very high vibration of energy and just receiving insights and spiritual connection. But also in a place where just managing the mental health, so much of how our mental is impacted deals with the external. That even being in a healthy relationship, the work that it takes. I'm just so grateful for 24 hours, to be honest. Like, every 24 hours has been a new practice. Every 24. And then that learning how to let go, you know, let go and not carry things with us, call it for what it is, acknowledge it for. And this is. And for those listening, you're talking to three people who have vested significantly in their mental health. So this is our experience. But I would say the healing journey, the work that it takes, and to be on the end of that now, years later, and navigating it for myself is a beautiful thing. I'm very grateful. [00:14:59] Speaker B: I just want to piggyback off of that because I was in a low place for a long time. And just the other day, I realized how much work I've done. Like, my. I don't know if y'all know I'm on that woo woo shit, too, but my goal is to be completely Zen. I want to be like that dog in the mean with the fire around him. This is fine, like, because that is truly a place that you can get to. And this week was very trying for me. I got attacked by yellowjackets, y'all. I'm still itching. It was five days ago. My whole body covered in yellow jacket bites. And guess what your girl did? Still got up and worked and went to boot camp and was fine. Dad went to the hospital the other day, passed out of and guess it was just walking like nothing happened. This is fine. Like, I really did not feel. I ain't had no heart palpitations, y'all. Y'all know I got panic disorder. I was just like, something's wrong because I don't feel crazy right now. Like, it feels like this is fine. Even though everything around me is not fine. I found out we had no homeowners insurance for a year. Like, this week has been a lot, y'all. And I was just walking around like nothing was happening, perfectly fine. I said, oh, this. I have a ride. I have a ride. One day, I didn't sleep good, and I just woke up, drank my green tea, ate me a salad, got me an apple. Well, let me go on a walk. Let me do my manifestations, let me do my meditation. Let me sit in silence for 3 hours. I've been fine, y'all. So I am grateful. The practice helps. I know us as black people, we don't really have that much experience into self journey and self healing and doing all that you can to be right. But I was suicidal two years ago, and here I am just, it's fine. I'll be fine. And if it don't work out, I'm still fine. So it worked, y'all. I have NP. I have been outside. I can't say randomly because I feel like the universe be working. I have been outside every single day this week that it was a full moon by. Just by happenstance. And I look up and, oh, let me go ahead and manifest. And everything that I've been manifesting has come to fruition this weekend. Okay, so it worked. That's all I got to say. It worked. [00:17:37] Speaker C: Oh, it's powerful. It's, uh. And that's. I think that's the part that, um. When I think about where I'm going into, um, and where I've come from, it's nice to just, uh. Scripture says Jesus talks about how, you know, not to worry about tomorrow because you have enough worry for the day. And I feel that, like, you know, I as not subscribing to the. The bigness of Christianity, but Christ was really on to something when he said that, like, you really do sometimes has got too much for the day, that if you really even tap in. So what's going tomorrow? No wonder why I have anxiety and that becomes debilitating for me to move forward. Right? No wonder why, um, if I'm thinking about tomorrow, oh, am I ever going to get married? And it's like, girl, do you. Why do you. That's a question that you don't even need to be asking yourself, you know, because that gives you depression, right? Where you're. You're. You're grieving over something that you don't know is ever going to happen. And so, yeah, Matthew six, Jesus really, you know, he. I think he says that's why I. I'm a big believer in descendant and ascendant. So Jesus descended to earth as a guy and ascended back to be with a guy. And I feel that I really believe in those type of spiritual beings because he really was on to something, right? Like, and the universe is always wanting for things to be for our good. And if you don't. If you do not believe that, right, if you don't look at Matthew 634 and take it for. For what? The fruit and the glory that's in something like a statement like that, you just. You ain't even living. And I promise y'all. Y'all know how I've been on my own spiritual journey, and I just one day found myself going to find that scripture, and I was like, why would he say something like that? You know, why would. Why would it be necessary to make that kind of comment? And it really just made me think about how just at the end of the day, everything gonna work out the way it's supposed to work out of. And we're still here. We're still here, you know, and I've had a lot of loss. I actually lost a giant in our family. Not our specific family, and an extended family member this. This week, and they laid her to rest yesterday. And I just thought about all the times that I was just in her presence, you know, in, like, wish I would have. One thing I wish I would have did was learn how to make a macaroni and cheese. Don't nobody. I make a pretty good macaroni and cheese, but her macaroni cheese was off the chain. Like, make you make you just. I don't even know. And I was kind of like, you know, it's like those things that make you think about, like, life, and why do we. Why do we. Why do we keep going on? And so, yeah, I'm glad to hear we're all in a good head space. Um, and, yeah, I'm taking it every 24, because that. That can fluctuate. Um, I. Yeah, it can fluctuate. And I think that as long as I'm committed to the journey, I'm committed to good mental health, so. And y'all as three black women. Okay. I don't know about y'all, but I feel like black women are just. We are being identified right now by the ancestors in the universe. Because, baby, the way they. I was talking about how it was elderly abuse and how they was treating Joe Biden a couple months ago and how they don't turn that around, I would. With this black job, I'm gonna tell y'all. I wouldn't. Who would have thought it? Who would have thunked it? Okay. And so with that, we just gonna go straight into politicking. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Speaking of things that have your mental health bad politics not been tapped in. And I feel like I have a different opinion about the current democratic candidate than most people. But I also have not been tapped into politics on purpose because I ain't got time. That is not equal to Zen, and I don't need that in my life. I will be voting, but I don't need to be tapped in. [00:22:51] Speaker C: You had something researching. [00:22:53] Speaker D: I was just gonna say that. I know, like, I feel like every election season is an interesting time, and I look forward to an election season when it's not an interesting time. I look forward to a season where it's not like we're not operating out of such an extreme thought or, like, an extreme circumstance. Because I feel like the past couple years, we just. We just been so extreme. [00:23:30] Speaker B: In extreme times. And I feel like politics is reflecting that because I've been kind of nostalgic lately, kind of looking back at, like, stuff that we was watching in the nineties and the early two thousands, and that shit was toxic. Like, it was not good. And when I think back to politics in the past and really look at it from an adult, mature perspective, it's always been a shit show. It's always been trash. And I feel like with this new generation, with millennials and after, I feel like we're at a pivotal point where we're realizing how much things have actually not progressed. I'm not saying that we haven't progressed, but we kind of been backtracking in the past few years. And I think with technology and this new generation, who cares about mental health and the greater well being of everyone, I think there's, like, two opposing sides. And I feel like it's generational. Like, I think the older generations do truly wish things were the way they were back then. And I think we are like, nah, that ain't it. And so I think we're just warring with two completely different ideologies. And that's why everything looks a fucking mess. And the people in. In power don't know what to do with it. I mean, honestly, I think we need a complete overhaul. Get all the motherfuckers out and let's start over. Obviously, that's not gonna happen, but I think that's what the issue is. Go ahead, research team. What you see? [00:25:15] Speaker D: No, I agree with that. I think there has to be. It's just like, I. I feel like I'm at a state of, like, burnout. Cause it's just like, how much more? Like, it's just been crazy the past couple years. And I feel like, because we as a generation are taking more accountability of, hey, we're gonna put a name to this feeling. This doesn't feel right. This doesn't. [00:25:40] Speaker C: I don't. [00:25:41] Speaker D: I don't like this. I don't like how it's going to. And we're vocalizing that more. It's just like, okay, how long is this gonna continue to happen? Like, how long are we, we the new adults? So how are the new adults changing trajectory of politics and how things are gonna be laid out for our generation and the generations after? Cause this is, this is extreme times. [00:26:07] Speaker B: And I also think, I feel like with the electing of Obama, everything went downhill from there. And I think that opened up. America really needs a wreck, a reckoning, and we've needed one for a long time. And I think, I really personally feel like the electing of Obama opened everyone's eyes. It opened white people eyes who don't, who like, oh, hold up. We progressed this far to get a black man in office? Oh, no, let's go ahead and take it back to 1955. And that's why I think Trump got in office. And now there's us who thought we had progressed. And it's like, oh, we ain't really came that far. It's still a lot of people in America who feel like people like Trump and Ronald Reagan, who was the first Trump, let's not forget, need to be in office. And we thought these old people was dying off and these ideologies was dying. But we realized these people still here with us, and they're just as strong as we are. And I think whenever America gets ready for a reckoning, I don't know if it's a civil war or whatever, but something extreme is going to happen, because that's, I think that's where we are. P money, you quiet over there? I know you got thoughts. [00:27:33] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, I would say, here's what I would say for this particular election, which I've told many people as a person who has been a very proud Republican for ever since I could vote and then change my party affiliation in the last couple months to no party, is because I think what you're underlying is my ability to acknowledge that even the fact that we have a two party system in this country is very, at this point, not serving the american people. And. But that is because I have been radicalized. Right. And I say that with a perspective of being a part of a party that changes as they do. They do change from time to time. The Democrats, at some point where the Republicans, vice versa, they just changed. The names are the same, but the policies do have changed historically. And so I find that because I have become radicalized with what I view is next for America, is that it's very hard for me to have these discussions because most people are not informed, truly, truly informed, and so I'm a spectator at best in this election because, like you mentioned, President Obama. I didn't vote for Obama because he was a black man. I couldn't do that. I didn't understand what his policies were. And just because people had such a problem with Bush, you know, they were worn out at that point. And you had all these other things happen, like the economy. You had breakdown in governments with 911. You had all these organizational things that are intrinsically wrong with America that no one wants to kind of find some type of accountability and fixed. And so when people say, the fact that they even have this argument about what has a president done for black people, to me, is even a hard question to ask when the reality is, if you really look into it since the point of emancipation, they ain't done nothing for us. Nothing. [00:30:07] Speaker B: And that's the real team. [00:30:09] Speaker C: And that's the real team. And so, you know, when you have. When you. When you realize that and a good way to show that you are going to do something about that in a real way would be to. It's still 40 acres somewhere. I'll take it. I'll take it. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Maybe we'll take two acres. [00:30:31] Speaker C: I take. I'm just saying it's still 40 acres. So what. And I will take that mule. I'll take them. [00:30:40] Speaker B: I'll take the mule as well. [00:30:42] Speaker C: And so, you know, so. And anyone listening this might say, oh, well, that's no, break down the complexities of what we're talking about and think of it in a very simplistic, centralized way, where, in reality, what this country has done to black people, if we want to ask that question, they have not done nothing for us since we were freed. Nothing, in fact, kept us, in some places of this great nation, enslaved for two years, not even knowing that they have been emancipated. And so then that begs me to ask a better question, which is, are we not still enslaved? I mean, I'm enslaved to the grocery store right now, because when I go to the grocery store and limes are three for $5, I'm confused. When did limes become that expensive? Y'all remember when chicken wings became expensive and then y'all bought them all up and then there was no chicken wings. [00:31:52] Speaker B: I do recall a tempe's and fries with a drink. Used to be 890, 915.99 now. [00:32:04] Speaker C: And they say, no drink, no drink. So this is a basic need. I have a basic need, which is I like to go to the store. I like to buy wings specifically. And I like to come home and I like to cook them, but I got to buy the things to get it right. And so one area y'all are worried about the border. I don't. I will not disclose my thoughts on any human conflicts currently because my biggest problem is the conflict we have in America with itself. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Okay? [00:32:42] Speaker C: The corporations that are driving inflation up, it is literally, they could take the lhide. They, they could take the l. They don't have to make a profit right now, right? Like, that's a, that's a real, like, when you realize when you go into any store right now and you're not going to, like, a farmer who may have better pricing, but they can't, they're struggling, too. All of these price increases are being done to create and drive profit. That's it. We are for profit nation. For profit country. We thrive off of capitalism. And so when we think about how does capitalism thrive in a post colonial society, a post colonized society, where this place was taken from its natives, okay, and then brought a whole gang of people over here to build it because they think they weren't going to build it. Now, you got to kind of deal with those, the ramifications of those consequences. And I think the american people have found in the last year, four years, eight years with Donald Trump and Joe Biden, is that we are very much more enslaved than we think we are. We are. We really are. [00:34:08] Speaker B: I think people are coming to that realization. And it's not even just black people, if we being honest, but black people in particular, like you said about them corporations, they can afford to not make a profit, and they can also afford to pay you what you worth. But we so enslaved that we let these corporations take advantage of us, and we'd be sacrificing our own mental health and our own happiness over everything. [00:34:36] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [00:34:37] Speaker B: In our own personal lives, for these jobs who don't give a damn if you die tomorrow, they replace you the next day. And we'd be so afraid. And I'm talking to myself, really, because this getting out a little off topic, but I've been feeling the energy lately that it's time for me to go out on my own. But I'm so scared of not having a salary and benefits, even though I know they don't give a fuck about me, that I just won't take the leap. And how many of us could have our own and thrive on our own if we weren't a slave to the white man? We still trying. We're still trying to integrate for real we still trying to push our way through and make ourselves known and prove ourselves when the tea is, they don't care if you, Obama or the crackhead on the corner, y'all the same person. To them, you the same person. So, which is why it is. But we have to realize that once we realize that, I think a radical change will come about. Like you said, you've been radicalized. P. I don't think enough of us have been radicalized and our eyes have really, truly been open. White people stole, demeaning, awoke. But we know what it really means. And a lot of us are not truly awakened yet. And I think that's why it's been such an extreme time because we're getting there, but some of us still a little hesitant to break the shackles free. I feel like Harriet is like, come on, y'all, what's happening? This ain't it, right? [00:36:14] Speaker C: And so a better way to even think about, if you are listening to this and you're like, man, that just sounds very depressing. It is. But I think, one, this is the real problem with democracy, right? And it's going to take. That's why I say I am. If I cannot have a discourse or a conversation with you about the status of this, if I even hear in your tone or your delivery that you have some type of polarizing mindset or opinion on the state of America right now. I'm not entering the chat. I am staying out of the chat. I am going to observe. And as a historian, it's a wonderful opportunity for me because this is the first time in american history that we are ever seeing a black woman be nominated through the Democratic Party for president. And this is the first time we are seeing a convicted felon be nominated for the Republican Party in the four presidency. And those are, I mean, those are real. Like, that's not an intent, that's a tangible. Those are factual things. And so it's very interesting to see and observe. So I'll be observing. And I think what we're going to see even through this next presidency, there is a real problem in America with democracy, but there is also reasons why we vote. And so, you know, that is to encourage each of you to become informed. If you feel like what we're saying is going over your head, the awakening will happen. You can do something as simple as think back to how you were in 2020. That's one reason why I really can never kind of forgive Trump is like, he knew about COVID for like three months and didn't tell nobody. Like, that's crazy. Like, I don't care if they made it up, you know, I don't care if Covid wasn't real. It was really killing people, though. It was. It was really killing people. Right? Like, this summer, there was a surge of COVID that I'm sure I had, and they weren't even talking about. And it's like, that just goes to show to your point, twin, that, like, they don't really care about us. They being any. Anybody that's trying to make a profit in. In this society, which. It's a capitalist society, they don't care. And so I think why we vote for black people, if anything? This is what I've always told black people with this election. It should be egregious to you to vote for a felon, period. Because felonies have systematically. Okay, systematically disenfranchised, disinvested, and literally not allowed free convicts. A member, a conviction can be for anything that has hindered them from rehabilitating back into society. Felony convictions. If you try to go for a job right now, you try to apply for a house, it is on those. Or an apartment, those things are on that application, right. [00:39:38] Speaker D: They will literally stop you from getting what's needed to the next step. [00:39:43] Speaker C: So that in itself is inexcusable behavior. And that should be more glaring to the idea of, there is actually a real problem with american democracy right now. But if we think about why do we vote as black people? We vote because black people didn't have the right to vote, okay? We vote for that reason. We vote for the people who were murdered, who were shot and killed in broad daylight, who were burned, who were hung, who were drowned, who were spit on. I mean, I got a whole list. That is why we vote, okay? We vote because of the people who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can go walk into that little place, bubble in some little bubbles, and walk out. Because at a time in this country, historically, that was not an available thing to do. You would literally be killed. Or if they saw your vote from the county that you were registered, they could take your mortgage away, they could take your job away. They could do a whole bunch of things to you. And when I say they, I'm not talking about white people. I'm talking about people that want to oppress another group of people from exercising their rights as a citizen of the United States of America. And with that said, some of the highlights from the DNC was learning about the walls. Obviously, we don't know anything about them. I kind of think it's super cool that Tim Walls is your average, real, real white man. [00:41:42] Speaker B: And watch the DNC. I watch none of that foolishness. [00:41:48] Speaker C: I watched the highlights. But his son, thus walls, has a disability, and he's a nonverbal learner. And it's this point where, like, this is the cool part about, you know, how picking Vice President Harris as a. You know, this shift has really energized the political scene, which is super cool. And you see this moment with Gus walls and his father when he's making his speech, and when he ends, he gets up. I mean, he's pouring down in tears, y'all. I mean, pure, just joy for father and son. Yeah, yeah. And he. Because he's a nonverbal learner, he's. He is controllable expression, and he's literally just screaming, that's my dad, and I love you. [00:42:43] Speaker D: It was definitely like a moment like. Yes, yes, it was. It was like love. You could tell, like, for a glimpse, for a minute, you forgot all about the extra stuff that was happening, and you were like, man, that's a. That's a real father son relationship. They love each other. [00:43:01] Speaker C: They love each other. And. And to have that kind of love, um, I think that's the part of where the country has, um, issues. You know, the founding fathers, uh, wanted freedom. They were so in love with the ideas of freedom, having been subjected to, you know, monarchy, rule, you know, their entire lives. Right. That's really important to note. And so this idea of freedom and how it just can be an expression of this kind of love. I also enjoyed very much Michelle Obama's speech, where I think, for her, imagine being as educated and as smart as she is as a black woman. And she said this before, and, you know, have to take this back seat to, you know, her husband, you know, her whole life to some degree, and for him to elevate her in that space. And they. This was the first time, if you really think about it, we saw them as partners. I really enjoyed the defined feminine and the divine masculine swapping the energies with each other. I thought that was very well done and very beautifully done, because that's something that black people need to see. For sure. For sure. And so, I mean, obviously, it's gone viral, the whole black jobs, which I still don't understand what made Trump say that? But, you know, he says a lot. [00:44:52] Speaker D: Of things that don't make sense, that we don't understand. That's just why. Yeah, all that. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:00] Speaker D: I really enjoyed, just from a black girl watching another black girl. The fact that she had these long braids and it was, like, in a big braided ponytail, it was just like. I don't know who said, like, this is the move to make, but it was. It gave. [00:45:22] Speaker B: I was like, yo, it's. [00:45:24] Speaker D: It's the details for me that. That really had me geeked. When I saw her with that, I said, see? And they want to tell you it's not professional, and it's not this. Listen, the first lady, my forever first lady, is rocking down to the booty braids and instant, one big plat. I can't. I can't hear nothing else. [00:45:45] Speaker C: You. [00:45:45] Speaker D: Y'all saying. I can't hear it. [00:45:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I, um. And I. And I. And that's what I'm saying is, I think because I've read becoming, and I just found that learning how much she had to kind of uplift him up as. As it should. Right. I think for Obama, President Obama, if we had a black man that needed to be the first black president, he was it, period. Hands down. That was. I mean, but at the time, I was younger, and my question was, but if that's why we're voting for him, then just say that. If that's why we vote for him, so just say that. So that's the question I asked. Now, is Vice President Harris really for the people? Because a big issue that the right or the left will all both say is that there has been problems with this current presidency. Right. And so. Or just the state of democracy in general with the years and years of things that have been going on. So I have that question. Do y'all think that Vice President Harris is for the people? [00:47:03] Speaker D: I I don't know if she's for the people, against the people. I just know who is not for the people. So, for me, I don't know if it's like, oh, there's. It's like picking the two of lesser evils, if that makes sense, because I know under Trump's leadership, you know, that's not the best leadership to be. To be under. And it brings America back to a place where it's already unsafe for us, but it becomes super unsafe. And I think with. With Harris, there'll be a bit more of a conversational piece that happens to. There'll be some thought process behind things. It won't be as radical, but with Trump, it's giving. I need to move to, like, Australia or somewhere that's not the US. [00:48:14] Speaker B: I personally feel like no matter who gets in office, it's given I need to move to Australia in a cabin in the woods, because. And this is. This. This is the bad part about being truly awakened. You really see everything for what it is. And I'm not saying that we should have Trump in office, but Harris is kind of in office now. Like, what's gonna. What's the country going to shit now? And with a Biden Harris in office. So what is going to change with her being in office? I feel like they're distracting us with the whole first black woman thing, and, I mean, it's about time to have one. But I also don't think anything will change from what's happening today. And the country is going downhill. Will it go down faster with Trump? Yes, but what do we need? Go back uphill? That's. That's what I'm worried about. And I will be voting, you know, not for Trump, but what's gonna change? That's where my mind has been, and that's why I haven't been tapped in, because it gets real bleak if you get too deep into it. And I stand on what I said earlier, we need some type of radical change. Not the same shit that's been going on year after year. Harris, you already in office, girl. Like, I just don't see what's gonna change. [00:49:55] Speaker D: I don't know if I'm voting based off of the possibility of change. I think, for me, I'm voting just because I don't. I don't want Trump to be in office again. Like, that's. I think that's what it boils down to. Like, for me, it's just real. Like, hey, I. It can't be the orange man again. It just can't. [00:50:23] Speaker C: Um, so, yeah, I think, again, because I am what I am, I can't really speak on. Is VP Harris for the people, because I am radicalized. And I think that there is a place and time to have real discussions about what we can do. And that a lot of that has to do with how much the conversation needs to be geared around and shifted towards this idea of what does enslavement really mean? Right. Why do we use the word I versus the word slaves? And so a question I pose to people really, is one. What is the problem that we see now that is currently oppressing? Who is being oppressed currently? Right. [00:51:23] Speaker B: Who. [00:51:23] Speaker C: What group of people in America currently have illegal right to do something? Women. Okay. And so it's starting there. And to believe or to think that it won't continue into other areas of your life is ridiculous. Because it is already at the grocery store. Okay. It's already at insurance companies. People can't, in Florida specifically, are losing their insurance companies due to profit. Right. And so there are areas of enslavement that is already taking place and taking shape in America. So my question is, if she wins, the responsibility that's going to come with being the first black woman to hold that job is just like what we experience as black women in those spaces, as leaderships. As leaders. Okay? And I got to tell you, it's just, I'm in with that. You know, I don't. I. It's going to be a long four years for her and, and Tim Walls, because this country is in by just design right now. Has a lot going on. And I think voters should. I love research team, your thoughts on, like. Yeah, but, like, if you really look at the Republican Party, they just are out of hand. It's out of control. It's really gotten just so much of them regurgitating and using just vulgar and just hateful doctrine that they don't even realize really spun up from Trump in himself. Right? Like, we are a country of love. Like, when did we become a country of such hatred? Okay. [00:53:32] Speaker B: I don't know if you were. I don't know. [00:53:35] Speaker D: I don't know if we were ever a country of love. I think we were built off of hatred, greed. Who is the best thief? Who can lie the best? Who is the most savvy to be an abuser? So I think the. Our american roots are rooted in. In hatred. [00:53:59] Speaker C: Let me let up there. Yeah, let me. Let me rephrase. I meant for America. The ideals. The ideals of being american. The ideals of. An example would be how we all come in together and we show our patriotism or we become compatriots during the olympics. Right? Like, that's what I really meant is we experience in America freedoms that most places around the world just do not have. That's a reality. Right. And so there is this love for and a decorum of at most, you know, just being kind to people. An example would be, as soon as this clip came out of Gus walls, you know, the Republican Party or members of their party and news outlets started bullying a disabled kid. This is a child. [00:54:58] Speaker D: Wait, what? [00:55:00] Speaker C: See off the chain with it. And I mean, again, they have done this in the past with the, the Obama daughters and, you know, the Bush, the Bush girls were off the chain and. Wow. But it's like, it's just one of those things where when you think about just the decorum of America, there was an underpinning of, like, at least think about how even within the black community, with Vice President Harris running, there's so much dissension. Like, think about that, right? Wherever I, at most, if we did it in solidarity, in solidarity to elect this woman, we have to then hold her accountable to why we gave her, gave her our vote. We got to be on CIS neck for four years, her whole neck breathing down on her, like, to make sure that she does the things that she said she was going to do. And see, that's always my problem with election cycles. It's like, it's very hard to put a plan, or say a plan, as you mentioned, twin of, oh, yeah, we're going to do this and we're going to do that. But when have you really done what you said you was going to do? [00:56:16] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:56:17] Speaker D: And then when. What are the consequences of you not doing what you said you was going to do? [00:56:22] Speaker C: So I say that and I end there. It's like Trump done said what he gonna do. They are, at best, we know exactly what we're gonna get with Trump. And that's, and that's okay, because guess what? That's what it come. It's gonna come. That vote comes with. I tell people, I'm like, okay, let's say your vote is accurate in the things that you want. Do you want all that's gonna come with it, though? And that's what came with it the last time. What came with it the last time was, now we have a supreme court that does not reflect the american people. You know how dangerous that is? That is so dangerous. I mean, to have sitting justices that rule over us as an american citizenship have more power than they have ever had in our democracy. And that is the real problem with democracy, too. So with that, we're going to take a break, and we'll be right back. All right. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. So, you know, as a family, we really try to take the opportunity to really think about, you know, the black family, living and learning and loving while black, a segment we like to call three lw. And so before we kick that off, we really want to think about, you know, centering ourselves around the question. And this is not just black people. This is all families. You know, why do we put pressure on people to accept anything from family? Is the question for the day. [00:58:02] Speaker D: Oh, can I go first? [00:58:04] Speaker B: Please do. [00:58:08] Speaker D: So I think is a multipronged answer, one I think is generational. I think for me, my parents, and the people that came before me have a certain level of acceptance that I don't agree with all the time. Just because you have the title as family or cousin or mom, it doesn't give you, like, that. That pass. Or, hey, because they're this. You have to accept x, y, and z from them. And I think that's, like, generational. Like, my generation is more of, like, I don't care who you are. You're not gonna talk to me any kind of way. You're not gonna come to me incorrectly. Like, respect is, you know, earned and given, so it's a mutual reciprocating thing. Whereas before, I think they did it as, like, a means of. I guess you could say, like, survival or, like, that's just what everybody else did. So I'm gonna just go along with the, you know, with what everybody else is doing. And I think, for me, it's just like, no, I'm chin. Checking adults at any age. And I used to do that a lot in high school, specifically at church, and people would look at me crazy. I'm like, no, my. I was raised by both my parents, but I also know that you can't talk to me any kind of way because you hold an adult title or whatever title you want to have. So I'm going to check you. So, yeah, no, I I'm not. I'm not in agreement with it. [00:59:54] Speaker B: It's a real problem, and it transcends culture. It really isn't just black people. And the three of us here, you know, we're good. Like, you just. You always kind of been that way. We've all learned how to put in boundaries and care for ourselves more. But. And I put this Topic here because, you know, I read a lot of stories. I be on Reddit in real life. Like, I see it in real life, and people get offended when I say something like, well, you know, you don't have to take that, right? You know, and it's so foreign to them that they can put their own happiness and how they live their lives above what their family thinks. And I just been thinking, like, what. What is it gonna take to break that cycle? Like, you? And it's. And I guess me being on the other side now. It's so weird to think of anybody doing anything for the benefit of somebody in their family at their own detriment. Like, that is so crazy to me. But family really be in. And it don't just be one person. Sometimes they be, like, a whole leg of the family collective pressure and somebody into something, and they really be feeling like, well, should I p. What you got? [01:01:25] Speaker C: Um, so, no is the. The question is, why do we put pressure on family to accept anything from family? And the. What I would say is, do we have to accept anything from family? No. Why do we put pressure on people? Because we haven't accepted why the person is saying no. That's the simple form. Okay. And I. And I say that from a place of having to put new boundaries up and say, no, I'm not going to accept this. I don't accept this. And that being because of the pressure that was put on me. And that pressure broke my heart. Yeah. I mean, I have processed it and I have, um. I have, um, moved on from it, but it still is painful and it hurts. But that pressure that was being pushed on me, it broke my heart. And so I think that those are the answers is, should we accept anything from family? No. And if our no has a why behind it, I think it's hard for people to understand the why. And until you carefully walk them through why I'm saying no and why I choosing not to accept this, it's very hard for people not to understand that the pressure that they're applying, because in their defense, they believe they're not doing anything. And that's where you have to reinforce the boundary, because if you don't believe you're even wrong in the pressure that you're applying, then that means you're going to do it again. And that's what you were talking about. Research team, where this is a generational, intergenerational trauma that is being reinforced through generations. And I tell you, this, this entire process, I could see. I was blessed with the vision and the confirmation through spirit and my ancestors that I had broke a generation curse. I could see it broken in the process and felt the weight of that pressure unhook from my soul. And I have. I remember feeling it being like, oh, this is what they mean when they say that you break something. It's not just you not turning out or doing the things that are unlike your family. It's no, you feel the break. And I'm fortunate. I'm blessed to have that experience. Um, but that does not, um. I think the other thing, too, is that people put. You put the pressure on you because it's family. Quote unquote, family. But what is family? Right? So family, right. Like, what is family? Because if you put the actions down, I'm really an only child. I don't have relationships with my siblings, really. They are my blood siblings, but I do not have actual relationships with them. So I am actually. That's just not even really my family. [01:04:55] Speaker B: And I feel like I've always had a unique perspective on family, but as being adopted. Like, y'all not my blood, but y'all my family and my one blood relative that I really in contact with. We estranged. So I have. I have always felt weird about. People say blood is thicker than water. What? [01:05:15] Speaker C: No. [01:05:15] Speaker B: Is it? I mean, in science? Yes. [01:05:19] Speaker D: I mean, yeah, I was gonna say. [01:05:20] Speaker B: From a scientific point, but don't mean nothing metaphorically. That's not a good metaphor, because at all, your own blood, Beatles, the main ones, doing you wrong, and then you have to end up later in life picking and choosing people who align with your values and who you are as a person and who gonna be there for you and love and support you. And most of the time, it don't be the people that birth you. [01:05:50] Speaker C: And that's where, at the end of the. This was the most recent thing that I've been through. I realized how much I wanted and I needed a partner because that's going to be my family. That's when I realized I was like, oh, okay. I see now, like, not just, you know, someone I love and, like, all that they know, like, I need my. I need my person. Person. Like, you're not meant to do life alone. And if I can find that in a person, you know. Yeah. You know, you're. You're really not. But if I can find a person that I have, and this is something I gave to the universe, I literally wrote it down, and I said, God, I need this, because if I have to deal with navigating with the people that say they're my blood or my family, like, this is. This is. This is sad. And I don't. You know, I think the older you get, you just naturally because of distance, the people that are your anchors, you know, they're just in different spots, right? They're not in your home, they're not at your school, they're not at your job, and it's harder to build and make new friends. Right, but I'm talking about, like you said, family. Like, who is my family? Who, like, who will do anything for me? Who's gonna do that and not anything, like, to hurt me, but anything for my betterment, who's gonna support me and love me no matter what, you know? And I say that with respect to watching my father, my second father on earth, bury his love of his life. I mean, to care for her and go through that process, I just it made me realize that, you know, having your people or a person is really, really valuable because it's special. And it allows us to navigate the things that happen within, as black people specifically, but then as just families in general, all this trauma and all this, you know, baggage that is just kind of an ancestral thing that we have to. If you are quiet enough, you'll see it and you'll feel it and you'll know it. And are you gonna call it out? Are you gonna do something about it? And I think that's what this go around. People didn't think that I was going to do something about it. And so. And that's just with growth, right. I would encourage anyone listening to this, like, don't just cut people off like that, but have some growth in the perspective of, you know, unless they try. I'm saying, like, what are you. You have to be self accountable to. You have to have self awareness, too, right? You have to yourself, look at where your involvement in the. What. What is being asked to be accepted, right? Because that could be a whole bunch of things. Like, I just don't accept that people have sexual misconduct within families. I don't accept that, period. So what do I do? I don't, you know, that's something that I just. If it's in the past and there's nothing I can do about it, it's an awareness. But also, I don't accept people treated old people badly. I hate that I don't accept it. But if I can't do it, you know, if I'm powerless to do anything to do about it, I'm not, you know? You know what I mean? It's like, if I'm powerless, I can't do anything about it. [01:09:36] Speaker B: I'm glad you had that realization, p, because I have always kind of felt like you. You need a person to go through life. And I feel like I've had a similar realization lately. And I feel like it's always been a battle within myself because of pressure that other people put on you. But I realized that I don't need a person in life, not that I want to go through life by myself like, I have you guys, I have my family, and, you know, I could have a companion, but that's not something that I need. And I feel like I've been trying to be that because that's what society tells you. And people think you're weird if you know what, you just want to be alone. Oh, no. You need to heal. And it's like, no, some people actually enjoy being alone and thrive better. And I feel like I had a great family growing up. You know, we had a nice little intimate family. We used to do things together. But I also feel like I lost myself in that. And I feel like I kind of lose a bit of myself in relationships, too. And I remember I was reading this article, and it was asking married women, what's something that people don't really talk about, about marriage? And a lot of the women were saying, I didn't realize how much of myself I would lose. And I think if you. If you need a person and you want to be a part of a unit and things, I think that's a sacrifice, that's okay for you. But I am such an individual, and I'm so independent to a fault, and I enjoy being alone. Like, that's not something that I need, like, if they find me cool. But I just. I think I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I don't need that. And I think I want to find a community of people who are like minded because I feel like I don't really know that many people who feel that way. And it kind of puts, I'm an empath, so it kind of puts pressure on me to like, oh, are you going to find love and are you going to get married? And it's like, I don't. I don't care about that. Like, even when I was engaged, I always was like, I'm never changing my last name. I will be doctor no matter if it's a man here or not. But I will be that person, you know, no matter what. And so I think a part of my journey is finding a new community of those women, because I think I really. I have spent so much of my life pouring into other people that I kind of want to spend the rest of my life pouring into myself and myself only. So that's been my. My self realization lately. [01:12:41] Speaker C: I really love that. Yeah, I really love that. Um, I think that's a great way to segue into three lw living, learning, and loving wild black. And I'm going to. I'm gonna start it out, really on black love because I think I really want to kind of piggyback off the question to question, because I think that's a. Something I didn't realize until, like I said recently, that I needed a partner. And I think it's because I've had so much trauma and such drama in my life without any. These are things that were beyond my control as a child. And it took one of our cousins who's a licensed therapist, she just got her license, but she's been practicing therapy for years, and she's amazing. And she said, one day, she said, you know, she literally said, fam, you alum, they have a great program. And she said. She said, I'm so sorry. What has happened to you? I almost want to cry, like, because it was then that I realized. So I asked that. When you say that twin, what do you mean when you say, I always thought that you needed a person? Because I feel like my journey has been the opposite of yours. I didn't have that nurturing love. I didn't have. I had nothing but abandonment. [01:14:13] Speaker B: Right. That's exactly why I thought that. Because a part of my journey has been realizing how much love I grew up with and realizing that that's not the norm for most people. And, you know, I used to be confused. I used to be like, it seemed like a lot of people are chasing love, and that's strange to me. But as through my journey, I realized I never had to chase love. Cause I already have that. [01:14:41] Speaker C: Like. [01:14:43] Speaker B: I have that even on Valentine's day. You gonna make me cry. I ain't never had no, I didn't have to. I didn't care about having no Valentine. My mom would send me flowers. When I lived in California, she would send me flowers, a gift, whatever, every Valentine's day. You know what I mean? And I knew that you were always seeking love because you didn't have that foundation. And we all need, like y'all was saying, we all need love. Whether that's in the form of family, romantic friends. We all need love. And if you don't get that as a foundation growing up, you're gonna be seeking it for the rest of your life. And you can't get parental love as an adult. You know, I'm saying it's over. It's too late for that. So the only other way you can really find anything close to that is a partner to spend life with, because, you know, you have your family and your friends, but who gonna be there when you got a hemorrhoid and you don't know what to do and you need to massage your booty, you know, like, you need. [01:15:48] Speaker D: Wow. [01:15:51] Speaker B: Like, I had that literally in my mom, in my parents, you know? And so that's why I said, I feel like you need that and maybe even find love in a child, because I feel like having a child and parent love is a completely different type of love to have. You know what? I'm saying. And you need that. You know, I feel like I was raised full of love. I feel full of love. [01:16:23] Speaker C: You. [01:16:24] Speaker B: You know, and that's been part of my journey, too, realizing that most people are not full of love and which is also why I'm okay going through life a little bit by myself, because I am unwilling to have someone else in my life who is not full of love. And most people aren't, especially men. They don't ever go on no self journeys, so. And I've experienced what real love feels like, and from my dad, too, you know? And so I've just realized people out here hurt unhealth, know what love is. They don't know how to give love. They don't know how to receive love. They wouldn't know love if it slapped them in the face. And I can't have that around me. I'm an empath. I can't. I can't be having people, negative energies, rubbing off on me. That's too much for me. And that's how I end up in the dumps and, you know, depressed and all this. So that's why. That's why I'm going back to what we saw at the beginning. I have been seeking a level of Zen within Sarah because people need love, and. And I am willing to put love out there, but I can't be so involved with somebody who don't know what love is. That it. That is thought a robot on me. I can't do that. So, either it's gonna be somebody who's full of love themselves, and they want to go on this journey with me, or my purpose in life is to give love to people and protect my own peace in however way I can. I know we got completely off topic, but it's okay. [01:18:06] Speaker C: No, no. I think that. I think. I think it lives, though, in self love, right? Like, a part of love. And black. In black love is the self love that you have to care for yourself and outside of. Okay, just black love if we choose. You know, just even think about Vice President Harris, like. And even Supreme Court Justice Brown. It's like you have to look at these very powerful black women who are with white men, right? And you have to look at it from that perspective of, like, them finding some being. The fullness there is of being black. Right. As a black woman and not instill finding love. You know that ideally, we would say, okay, on paper, we want the Michelle and we want the barack, right? But at the same time, like. Or we want the Jay Z and we want the Beyonce. But at the same time, like, it's. Well, I mean, but it's like, you want those things, and you look at an example would be, and she's not on our list. It's Cardi B. [01:19:30] Speaker D: So I left them off. I left them off. [01:19:33] Speaker B: It was just, you know, people who wasn't raised in love. [01:19:36] Speaker C: You see what I'm saying? [01:19:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:19:39] Speaker C: You know, and so. So I say that I thank you for your answer, because I think, for me, my journey has been pure self love. So I can show up for love, right? That I can give. That's what I. That's what it came to is after this last, like, having your heart broken by your own family really gives you. It's diabolical. And so, for me, it was kind of like, okay, God. Like, I was like, okay. Yeah, yeah. It was. It was. It was like that, you know? And the timing of it all was divine timing for me to be able to listen to how I needed to respond. And that's what I responded with, was, I don't really want to leave earth, and I want to experience everything there is to the joy that is to be alive, the joy that it is to, you know, be in love. And so I wrote that down. I really wrote it down in my journal, and I said, I need my person, God, I need them like, I need love. And I think that's because I've done all the work I can do at this point on self, right. That even in the relationships that I find myself in, it's like, a lot of that is reminding people that you got to be good for yourself. You can't go into no relationship with nobody. If you can't be okay for you, you can't wake up for you, because the depression and the anxiety is not going to go away. That's the quickest thing I realize is, like, that's just sitting there like, hey, girl, what's up? We finna kick it today, you know? And so in. So I say, I think that's a great way to think about how, um, you know, when we think about love just in toxicities and in families, like, the whole thing with Kiki, Palmer, and Darius, I'm like, I really don't know much of the details to really get into it. [01:21:55] Speaker D: Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready. I wanted to get here with these toxic relationships and abusive people. [01:22:04] Speaker C: Let's start with them first. Let's start with them first. [01:22:07] Speaker B: Before we start research team, I want to say, and this just goes back to me saying this. I'd rather be alone. I feel like situations like Kiki and her man are so common because people are seeking love in the wrong places. [01:22:30] Speaker D: Mm hmm. [01:22:31] Speaker B: They don't. You can tell. Like, I was, like I was saying I grew up in love, but I didn't grow up in self love. And that's why I kind of want to dedicate the rest of my life to just loving myself, because it. It's taken me a long time to get here, and I still kind of struggle because I'm a weird person. I am a individual. I am very unique, even more so than the regular person. Like, I'm a very different person. And being that type of person in this society, you know, you gonna be depressed because people look at you like, what the fuck? But anyway, when I see stuff like Kiki and her man, it's not even self love, okay? [01:23:13] Speaker D: For either one of them. [01:23:14] Speaker B: For on either part, it's not giving self love, and I don't want to be involved. I just wanted to make that announcement. [01:23:24] Speaker D: Okay, so let me. Let me catch the listeners up who maybe are not into, like, this type of culture. Kiki Palmer. Actress, Darius. I think he's, like a gym person or whatever, so not the same level of income or caliber. Let's just start there. They had a child. Leo. I forget what his actual government name is, but it's real ethnic. Leotis. There we go. Leotis. Thank you. Got into a relationship, had a baby. Apparently, things went downhill quickly. It was first brought out that Darius was the aggressor. He was the one putting hands on. On Kiki. Now, present day, it has come out that she is also. Has also been the aggressor. She apologized, all that other stuff, but now they back together. [01:24:25] Speaker B: It's giving, abusive. [01:24:26] Speaker D: So you hit on him, he hit on you. Y'all got a baby. Y'all broke up. You. You filed a. What's it called? What you might call it, report. One more time. [01:24:42] Speaker C: Restraining order. [01:24:43] Speaker D: There we go. You filed Kiki a restraining order on him, but now y'all are back together. I don't know what kind of example people are trying to set for their kids. Forget the rest of the world. But I just. I hope everyone is in a. In a better, more healed space. But there's nothing wrong with co parenting. Like, you don't have to go back to the person who abused you to try to make a family unit that fits this box or checks this box. Sometimes that's not the best thing to do. Sometimes stuff just doesn't work out. And that's okay. But it's definitely a bit unsettling that both of y'all was basically hitting each other up over the head of. And y'all are back in it. [01:25:34] Speaker B: And this what I was talking about. Most people don't know what love is, because why would you bring a child into that situation? And a lot of y'all out there be doing that too. [01:25:45] Speaker D: Well, maybe it's not intentional, like, that they intentionally likes, hey, I'm an abusive person. You're an abusive person. Let's make a baby. I don't know if it was, like, down to that, but. [01:25:58] Speaker B: Well, no, you'd have to be self aware. You're right. [01:26:01] Speaker D: And they wouldn't. They would. [01:26:03] Speaker B: That makes it even worse to me, because. For sure, because the child, considering what type of environment you're bringing a child into and what. And that's why I don't want kids. That's part of the reason why I don't. I was telling my cousin today, a big reason why I don't want children is men, I will note, bring a child into any type of toxic situation, and you never know how people gonna change. And I just said, most people don't know what love is. I refuse to bring a child into that situation, and most of y'all be doing it without even thinking about it. [01:26:38] Speaker D: Yeah. No actual thought process. No, like, hey, let me sit down and be super intentional about what the ramifications of this mean. Like, hey, I'm gonna bring a child in with. With this. With this person. And I know I didn't put this on there, but speaking of bringing a child into the world, Janae Ayko and Big Sean, his perspective or their perspective, or the perspective on why they are not ready for marriage is valid, but it's also wild because you guys share a child. I don't understand what bigger commitment. [01:27:17] Speaker B: Janae ready. Janae ready. [01:27:21] Speaker C: Correct. [01:27:21] Speaker D: But I don't. I don't understand what the. The bigger commitment is outside of having a child. [01:27:27] Speaker C: What? [01:27:29] Speaker B: Wait, what is the reason they gave for not being. [01:27:32] Speaker D: He said big Sean, you know, he said that he wasn't, like, basically in a place they still got things to work out and fix and navigate through. Oh, and for me, that's just like a cop out. [01:27:46] Speaker B: It is. [01:27:46] Speaker D: Y'all have a whole kid together. I don't know what else we trying to navigate and work through. We got a kid pointing at her. [01:27:52] Speaker B: Finger in that video. She. So it's given. He's the one stalling. [01:27:58] Speaker C: Um, I have a different perspective, and I think that's gonna be a great way to bring in, um, because weren't they exes at one point and they got back together? I think so, yeah, I feel like they were together at some point. Got that when they separated and they got back together. So we can knock two couples out or two questions is, you know, I think that my issue with their situation is that people are even they, because they are public figures, they are being asked that question. Right. And so I think there's this level of privacy and secrecy that people actually are already doing every day. But when you're a celebrity, it's kind of like, it's magnified. So I'll give you an example. Let me explain. I'm a very private person, but I've also now realized that there's also a level of not secrecy, but protecting the other person or protection of the love that you have with someone. Someone. Because everyone's not going to understand. And I think that's what it should have really came down to. But because we know that, you know, we look up to her as one of our big goddesses. Right. You know, she invokes that, and so we look up to her in that regard. And I just think that a lot of that is just being really honest about not doing something that doesn't feel right. And. And I say that because of the timing. Right. Like, the fact that they had a kid together because he doesn't have any other kids. Right, right. [01:29:45] Speaker D: This is first one. [01:29:46] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, and so right now. Right now, if you guys listening, when this comes out, it might or may not still be in the mainstream, but, like, it's going viral. The whole thing about with Kim having all these kids and then wanting to have more kids, and she clocked. She clocked him. She clocked him. Doctor Bryant clocked him immediately. [01:30:03] Speaker D: That's what I sent you last night. And I was like, girl, this is. [01:30:06] Speaker B: Wow. [01:30:07] Speaker C: She clocked him. She immediately. She clocked him immediately and told him how selfish and how toxic it is. [01:30:15] Speaker B: Wait, who? Wait, catch me up. Who? [01:30:17] Speaker D: Doctor Bryant. The link I sent you yesterday is from his podcast, funky Fridays. And. And this lady, this psychologist came to talk to Cam about, you know, just whatever they was talking about. And they got on a topic of him being, like, a high value man with, like, low value behavior. And she said, basically, he's intentionally creating broken, broken holes because they're blended. And he had a. He had a really tough time or is still having a tough time trying to, like, digest that and understand that. And he don't really understand, like, just because his kids stay with him and not the mothers, they still are a blended family. And because, you know, their mothers are not in the home every day. And that's a different dynamic. Essentially, that's still a broken home. And he was just like. [01:31:09] Speaker C: But then also that what she really also clocked him was. Was like, okay, but then when you find the woman that you want to marry, because you're going to want that, at some point, you gonna build this house for her. And then they all. In all these homes. [01:31:23] Speaker D: Mm hmm, mm hmm. Cuz he said his level of. His fear of divorce is less. [01:31:30] Speaker C: Is greater than his fear of getting married. [01:31:33] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:31:34] Speaker B: Y'all see what I'm talking about? Unwell. [01:31:40] Speaker C: But, but so I use that as an example that I think for big, we put these expectations on these black men. But these black men, the level of his expect, the level of expectation that he has, I think his parents may or may not have been together. I'm not sure, but he's really. Yeah, yeah. He's really close. What is that? And we don't know what he has seen in marriage. Right. And so I will say this about Camden. The level of his expectations of what he should be as a black man is to be a good father, period. He don't know how to be a good husband. So for me, that's also. That's also, though, that's the women allowing to themselves to free procreate with this man. Okay. We have. We have had the ability to control that. I'm saying is that you willfully have a child with someone, which I think is back to big Sean and Janae. I feel that their commitment to procreating together was as big as a commitment in marriage for them. I feel like their situation is unique because he does only have one child with her. Right. And so that's what I'm saying. It's like, I think that we are in their business a little bit because. Or when people get in their business a little bit because in reality, she vibrates at such a different, higher frequency and vibration that you. We know for a fact that she's been healing him. [01:33:21] Speaker B: Okay. [01:33:22] Speaker C: She's probably a part of a lot of his healing journey and getting him to go heal, because even in his most recent music, he talks about how she is the one that allows him to go on that journey. And a perfect example is Nipsey and Laura London. Same thing. Were together, broke up, had a kid together, ended up getting back together. And then, you know, I think also in situations like that they understand, because they've had so much grief or death already in their lives. I know Janae specifically, with the loss of family members she's had, you start to also value that we're in this higher level commitment, and that's what it. And whatever that means to us is what it means to us, because, again, I'm not completely sold on the legalities of getting married. Like, I'm gonna be so tied to my man before I even see a courthouse. Okay? Like, we gonna go on a trip. We don't go to some mountains. We gonna get in front of a full moon, and we don't make a commitment. Commitment to God in the universe, just together. So because you are. You're. You realize, like you said, research team, there are so many people, like Kiki, Palmer, and Darius, that are in these toxic situations, but it is so normalized that they don't understand that it's toxic, and that that comes with just a level of awareness that you have to be committed to the healing journey. If you are not committed to a healing journey, there is no way that Nellie spends the block on a Shin tea. If you're not committed to a healing journey, there's no way that Gabrielle and Dwayne create. I really believe their union. I honestly believe their union was created to make our baby girl, because she off the chain with it. I love that little girl. What's her name? [01:35:16] Speaker B: Ziya? [01:35:17] Speaker C: No, not Ziya. That's. That's his son or his daughter. Sorry, Zaya, his youngest daughter. [01:35:24] Speaker B: I feel like I made that up. [01:35:25] Speaker C: No, Zia. [01:35:26] Speaker D: That's the actual name. [01:35:28] Speaker C: Zion is his daughter. Ziya is his daughter from his previous marriage. The new little baby is something else. It's on the tip of my tongue. But she's so, you know, seeing them create, like you said, I might find that in creating a child, seeing them get together to create that baby, that is fulfilling. To Gabrielle, who couldn't have kids or did not have kids. For Kavia. Yeah, Kavia. You know, I look at their relationship, and I'm like, oh, man. It's like Kavya, like, to facilitate a house where Ziya was able to, you know, become and be in her truth. And then Kavya, like, this beautiful, you know, black, you know, girl joy. I saw her getting her hair pressed for the first time, and I was just like, man, sometimes it's more about the mission, too, which is what bug and nip used to talk about. It's like sometimes you're together with somebody more about the mission than it is. It is love, but it be a mission thing, too. [01:36:35] Speaker B: That's true. I get that. [01:36:38] Speaker D: I think for, for me, when it comes to, I guess, like, other people's relationships, like, yes, they have their, like, that's their relationship and that's their own understanding in their own bond. But sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it just seems that people haven't intentionally thought about the. The creating or the making of the baby. And then what comes, like, after, it's just like, yeah, we had this kid and then it's just like, oh, now we should probably work on ourselves, and now we should probably, like, get together and, you know, now we should probably get married. When those are conversations that should have happened prior to. So you won't have these potential broken blended homes or you won't have these potential, like, oh, you know what? He was showing red flags or aggressive behavior before we had a kid, so I don't want that for, you know, my family structure. [01:37:39] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. It goes back into the trauma bonding, though, like you're saying is you have unhealed people procreating. But I think if you even that's a higher level explanation, it's great. But I think you really gotta, like, dial it all the way back. And it's about having a control and agency over your body. Right? Like, you don't have to get pregnant. I mean, it does happen, you know, for the most part. If you. You really don't want to have children, there are ways to. There. It is a sacrifice to do so. So I don't accept that. Because to me, it's like, I feel like people have these weapons of mass destructions connected to a five minute, not even five minute, a five second moment of pleasure. And it's like, it really is. And now you create this. This life, and only when you have a life like mine that you realize how dangerous that is. And if you're not willing to commit to what it's going to take to raise that baby to co parent, then you shouldn't be sleeping with that person in the first place. Because that's my biggest criteria right now. It's like, I ain't sleeping with nobody that can't co parent. [01:38:56] Speaker B: Well, because I. [01:38:58] Speaker D: That should be the. That should be the process in the beginning. Like I always say, anybody that you have sex with, can you see them as a father or like, like you say, like a co parent, like, can you be tied to this person for 18 plus years? If not, don't even keep them crossed. Like, if you just let people just shoot up the club, then that's. You're intentionally knowing that there are going to be some ramifications from that. Now, if you haven't protected sex, that's different. [01:39:36] Speaker B: But I also don't want kids and so I can't be. That's, that's not even like a thing for me. Like, I would never have sex if it's, well, can this person co parent? However, I am very safe. [01:39:54] Speaker C: Right. [01:39:54] Speaker D: That's what I'm saying. [01:39:55] Speaker B: It's unprotected sex, you know, about not having children with anyone at all because. [01:40:03] Speaker C: None of them need. Right. But we're talking, I mean, we're talking preventative. [01:40:10] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:40:10] Speaker C: And post preventative, which is obviously the choices that as a woman you get to make. So that's what I'm saying is even when you find out, I've heard in this, right, in this day and age, because of why abortion matters, is, it's like, you have at least the right to really think about, is that something that you can do with this person or not? [01:40:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:40:41] Speaker D: Cause at different stages you have the option to be like, uh, uh, I'm a back out. Or like, no, this is not gonna work out. So at some point when you've passed that timeframe, you have intentionally chosen to do to live whatever result or live whatever outcome at that point. [01:41:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Cuz I mean, I'm gonna tell you, I know, like this, and this is like coming from pre healed me, but like, if I'd ever gotten like pregnant as like a teenager or something, I totally would have given my kid away. Because one, so many people need kids, but two, I just would have been from a place of abandonment. Right. And wanted to not repeat what happened. I would have all. I would essentially repeat it, what happened to me to my own kid. And that's what made me be like, oh, no, girl, you got to go to the doctor. I would took my butt to the doctor as a teenager, made an appointment with my doctor and I got on birth control immediately because, lord have mercy, I would to think of having a child with the person that I was in a relationship with and being sexually active. Not. [01:41:53] Speaker D: Yes, it's crazy. [01:41:55] Speaker C: No bueno. No, no bueno. [01:41:59] Speaker B: Well, speaking of unhealed people, I just had to add this because I came across this last night as I was minding my black business. Um, Drea Kelly. [01:42:13] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [01:42:16] Speaker D: I saw that and I'm confused. Somebody gonna have to tell the research. [01:42:21] Speaker C: Team because I don't know who it is. I don't know. [01:42:24] Speaker B: R. Kelly's ex wife. R. Kelly's ex wife. The one who did the dance, giving these hips and them. You know, I'm talking about the choreographer, the dancer lady. The dancer lady that got a young body owning the face and was vibrating her legs to the Beyonce song. You on mute, pde. Anyway, I'm gonna drop it. [01:42:46] Speaker D: I'm gonna send a picture of it in the chat. [01:42:48] Speaker B: Um, was that a prank? [01:42:52] Speaker D: It got to be. First of all, y'all been together for eleven years. [01:42:57] Speaker B: I didn't know they was together at all. [01:43:00] Speaker D: Was y'all met? Like, what's the definition of together, huh? Like, on their terms? Like, messing around consistently for eleven years. [01:43:10] Speaker B: Because I wasn't Cisco in the creep squad. [01:43:15] Speaker C: Who was? Who is Cisco, though? [01:43:18] Speaker D: Okay, I'm gonna just send pictures on the phone. [01:43:23] Speaker B: No, no, he was on love and hip hop. [01:43:26] Speaker C: Which one was he on? [01:43:27] Speaker B: New York. [01:43:29] Speaker D: New York. [01:43:30] Speaker B: Do you remember where all them sleazy ass negroes would. [01:43:34] Speaker C: You don't know. I watch it. You know, I don't watch it. [01:43:36] Speaker B: I mean, you don't watch it, but it be like it's trash culture news. Anyway. You know who Peter guns is? Who was in the Creek squad? Peter guns. [01:43:51] Speaker D: You know, Cisco, I think that was it. [01:43:54] Speaker B: Some. Some niggas from loving him. Some ancient. Cut this out, dub. Some terrible people. Some terrible humans. A man who has been seen with several different ladies over the past eleven years. [01:44:12] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like what, how you was watching him on tv too? The receipts are there. So were they on break or do they have kids? Uh uh. I mean, she has kids, but not from him. [01:44:35] Speaker B: I'm not even trying to be shady. She don't even look like the type of person that he would be with. You know, I'm saying she kind of. [01:44:46] Speaker C: Oh, that's what they saying. Wasn't he in the creek scribe a couple years ago? [01:44:50] Speaker D: Yes, she is older. That's what I'm saying. She has a. Like a phenomenal body, but within her face, she is an older person. No shade or anything like that. But ma'am, what you. She's apparently 50. [01:45:09] Speaker B: Like, that's not right, but unwell. This is what I'm talking about, y'all. [01:45:15] Speaker D: Now this is a prime example of. [01:45:18] Speaker B: I mean, she was married to r. Kelly, so. But I just thought after that, this. And this is what I'm saying. Most people go through life unwell and not going on no type of healing journey or finding real self love or anything. Because if you end up with this after being married to r. Kelly, by the way, she put up a video the other day of her running out to happy people. Girl. [01:45:52] Speaker D: I'm sorry. [01:45:53] Speaker B: I really only put that here to say I can't be that old and unwell. What you going to say? Researching. [01:46:04] Speaker D: I agree with you. I just think the fortunate and unfortunate side, and we've talked about this before, of, you know, going on your healing journey or, you know, having professional help and talking to a therapist on a regular basis about life, your life, your. Your triggers, your traumas, is that you become aware of what unhealed people look like very quickly and you cannot unsee it. [01:46:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it sucks. [01:46:36] Speaker D: Like, this is the. I guess the side that people don't talk about or, you know, we don't talk about. [01:46:42] Speaker C: No. Oh, yeah. No. You talking to. [01:46:46] Speaker B: Yeah, me and my other cousin was literally having that same conversation this morning because she got somebody in her life that probably ain't gonna make it to 2025. Um, one can only hope, because I was ready for that. Because you're correct. I was telling her the same thing. Once you get to assert the other side of healing, not that your healing journey is ever done, but you do get. There is a hump to get over yes levels. And you cannot unsee, my God, unhealthy tendencies if you can't unsee it. And not only that, I can't be involved. You can't even be around me. [01:47:30] Speaker D: It's like food poison. It just come out. You just. Mass exodus. You just gotta go. [01:47:35] Speaker B: Something stank over here. I need to go. [01:47:39] Speaker C: I mean, and so I think we can, you know, that's one of the things to rapidly nice, you know, nicely tie up, you know, what we've been discussing in different types of relationships, love, self love, finding love, and how if you're not doing the work or committed to work yourself, how you're going to spill that over, that's the biggest thing is the self awareness, because that's probably like, like I said, I made that statement after all that happened. And, baby, let me tell you, the way that my discernment and the ancestors who had had to check me, this is not, this not. You're telling the universe that's not it. Because what you want, you can't date that person. You can't even entertain him. It doesn't fit. And then the crazy thing is how they like to spin that block. They spin and they spend and they spin and they spin. I got somebody still spinning on me from two. I ain't seen this man in two years. Then trying to hit me up on WhatsApp it's like, you know, you're unwell, you're unwell. Like, you gotta be unwell. If you're doing that, you're unwell. And so, you know, I think a lot of what you said, research team comes down to your intentions. What do you. And if you don't have self awareness, self actualization, self realization, those are different things, people. And you're not committed to a loving and healing energy. You're going to live in the toxic. That's. That's you're going to be in it and you. It's going to find you because it's lower vibrational energy. It is going to show up at your house on a Thursday at 09:00 a.m. in the morning when you was minding your business. That's what it's going to do. It's going to show up in your text messages while you out here drinking your water. You know, it's gonna show up at, you know, a homecoming when all you want to do that is have fun. It's gonna show up in church like it. Toxic, low vibrational energy has no. It don't care who life it unhinge. And so that's why you have to protect yourself. So, listeners, we were telling this from the end of summer perspective. Y'all had a hot girl, summer. I don't know if you did or you didn't, but y'all was outside, but specific to black women, there's a more bigger attention on us. But, yeah, you know, that's something that as black for living and loving and learning, as black keeps showing up for yourself. Because as black women is going to get super goofy out here, for real, with having a black woman run for president. And, you know, we got. We're going to have to. We're going to have to exhibit a level of real restraint and healing. And so, yeah, people, if you're not committed to those things in life, the low vibes will find you. Okay? And you think that it is, you are going to think it is normal. And that's because of what happened through Covid, that behavior is now normalized and it is not normal. And you can say, no, you don't have to accept anything from these people. You don't. [01:51:28] Speaker B: You. [01:51:29] Speaker C: If you. You really don't. But a lot of that starts with yourself. And so with that, I think we could just close on, you know, what are we? [01:51:39] Speaker B: I got a special shot o'clock for us. Y'all got, y'all, I got water. Because this, I'm explained during the shot of clock, which I got, I got water. I got this. Giving healing energy. Okay? We taking shots of water. And I feel like this episode has been about love and healing and what can we do to be a better person. And I feel like I'm a living testament, okay? I put here back like I never left. [01:52:14] Speaker D: Come on. [01:52:15] Speaker B: Boot camp this week. Okay? I've been back on my 2020 pounds. [01:52:23] Speaker C: Loading. [01:52:24] Speaker B: And I've been feeling amazing. Okay? The first day I was like, oh, I did one push up. And if y'all know me, y'all know that I'm ashamed. But I'm back like I never left. Because by day four, guess who was on they ass. Okay. [01:52:44] Speaker C: You were. [01:52:46] Speaker B: I've been minding my business. I've been eating myself salad. And they ain't ready for your girl. And that. And that's also important to your Zen journey. Eating right, putting good things in your body, okay? Exercising, walk some, do something, get moving, get the blood flowing. Even if you feeling down, whatever. And I'm back like I never left. And we back like we never left. We haven't recorded since June. We've been having stuff going on. We be on our own healing journeys. We've been finding love. We've been finding new careers. Okay? And we back like we never left. So shot o'clock to that. I got my water. [01:53:32] Speaker C: Drink. [01:53:32] Speaker B: It's healing season. [01:53:35] Speaker C: It's healing season. We're in the more and more into the age of Aquarius. If you don't know what that means, go on YouTube, google it. But I'm gonna take a shot today as well. If you find self healing, that is a very way to anchor yourself and connect yourself to God, the universe, and a higher frequency. You know, we're all being called to do things that are higher. If we want to live in a better America, we got to be better americans, we got to be better people for ourselves. And that's hard work. And as twin alluded earlier to, when another pandemic happens or something that shifts or changes society as a whole, it's really going to be love that's going to get us through it. So we'll take a shot, too. [01:54:34] Speaker B: Take a shot to take a shot to love. Whole season. Happiness over. [01:54:45] Speaker C: Yeah. Healing over everything. Walking back. [01:54:48] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. Is, um. It's dedicated to me just really making it to September so I could go on vacation. So it's real simple. I'm trying to. I'm trying to take the pto because if you know me, I don't really take the pto. But I'm taking it. [01:55:10] Speaker B: So shots to me, taking pto happiness over everything. Okay. Take that pto. [01:55:19] Speaker D: Take the time. Take the time. [01:55:25] Speaker C: All right. And with that, um, we want to thank you guys for tuning in with us. Um, we appreciate all the feedback we constantly get on social media, so don't forget to hit us up on twitter at call your cousins. That's c a l l y o u r c o u s I n s. We're on Instagram at call your cousins. Pod at c a l l ydeh. O u r c o u s I n s p o d. Please, please make sure that you, if you're listening to this on YouTube, subscribe and hit that, like, button at call your cousins. That's callyourcousins. And we do love the emails that you guys send in. Please, if you want to give us feedback or you want to give us a question that it's a family question of the day, please send [email protected]. that's [email protected]. and, yeah, we missed Doug today, but we were happy for y'all to kick with us. Until next time. See you. Bye.